Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Randomize
