Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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