Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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