Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
