walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
