I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
