yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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