Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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