When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
