Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
