Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
there is glitter all over my balls
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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