The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
40s are totally the cure
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
