And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
