my mouth tastes like poor choices
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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