I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
