We're facebook friends in real life
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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