Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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