i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
