I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
