fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
