you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
