In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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