HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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