Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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