I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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