Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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