i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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