my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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