Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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