If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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