i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
two words...techno handjob
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
