That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Randomize
