you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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