You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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