Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
