I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
