I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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