Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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