Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
