Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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