Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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