About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
His hands were made for my vagina.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
