third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
