In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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