I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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