Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
