That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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