remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just pee around me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
