i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This toilet bowl is my home.
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