If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
