I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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