cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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