I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
