Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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