When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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