woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Oh god it's open bar.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
