Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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