So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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